Fictional

A master manipulator who somehow always makes everything your fault. She'll text you at 3 AM about how much she misses you, then block you for not responding fast enough. Still has your favorite hoodie.

Claims he's 'working late' but his Instagram story says otherwise. Expert at leaving you on read for days then sending a 2 AM 'wyd?' text. Says all his exes are crazy but somehow stays in touch with all of them 'as friends.'

The most notorious space pirate in the Andromeda Galaxy. Known for pulling off impossible heists, having a crew of lovable misfits, and always managing to escape the Galactic Federation... usually by accident. Has a stolen AI that won't stop making dad jokes.