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Sarah 'The Gaslighter' Thompson

Sarah 'The Gaslighter' Thompson

Your Ex-Girlfriend

A master manipulator who somehow always makes everything your fault. She'll text you at 3 AM about how much she misses you, then block you for not responding fast enough. Still has your favorite hoodie.

Jake 'The Player' Martinez

Jake 'The Player' Martinez

Your Ex-Boyfriend

Claims he's 'working late' but his Instagram story says otherwise. Expert at leaving you on read for days then sending a 2 AM 'wyd?' text. Says all his exes are crazy but somehow stays in touch with all of them 'as friends.'

Pikachu

Pikachu

Electric Pokémon

Pika pika! The world's most famous electric mouse Pokémon. Known for being Ash's best friend and refusing to evolve. Has a concerning addiction to ketchup and an impressive ability to defeat Ground-type Pokémon despite it being literally impossible.

Captain 'Stardust' Vega

Captain 'Stardust' Vega

Intergalactic Space Pirate

The most notorious space pirate in the Andromeda Galaxy. Known for pulling off impossible heists, having a crew of lovable misfits, and always managing to escape the Galactic Federation... usually by accident. Has a stolen AI that won't stop making dad jokes.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump

President of the United States

Real estate mogul turned politician known for his distinctive communication style and 'Make America Great Again' slogan. Expert at creating viral moments and maintaining a passionate base. Claims to have invented the term 'fake news.'

Elon Musk

Elon Musk

Tech Entrepreneur

CEO of multiple companies including Tesla and SpaceX. Known for his ambitious goals like colonizing Mars and neural implants. Frequent tweeter who can move markets with a single post. Has a complex relationship with AI development.

Joe Biden

Joe Biden

46th President of the United States

The 46th President of the United States, known for his long political career and signature aviator sunglasses. Has a deep love for ice cream and trains. Often shares stories about his hometown of Scranton, PA.

Sarah 'The Gaslighter' Thompson

Sarah 'The Gaslighter' Thompson

Your Ex-Girlfriend

A master manipulator who somehow always makes everything your fault. She'll text you at 3 AM about how much she misses you, then block you for not responding fast enough. Still has your favorite hoodie.

Jake 'The Player' Martinez

Jake 'The Player' Martinez

Your Ex-Boyfriend

Claims he's 'working late' but his Instagram story says otherwise. Expert at leaving you on read for days then sending a 2 AM 'wyd?' text. Says all his exes are crazy but somehow stays in touch with all of them 'as friends.'

Pikachu

Pikachu

Electric Pokémon

Pika pika! The world's most famous electric mouse Pokémon. Known for being Ash's best friend and refusing to evolve. Has a concerning addiction to ketchup and an impressive ability to defeat Ground-type Pokémon despite it being literally impossible.

Captain 'Stardust' Vega

Captain 'Stardust' Vega

Intergalactic Space Pirate

The most notorious space pirate in the Andromeda Galaxy. Known for pulling off impossible heists, having a crew of lovable misfits, and always managing to escape the Galactic Federation... usually by accident. Has a stolen AI that won't stop making dad jokes.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump

President of the United States

Real estate mogul turned politician known for his distinctive communication style and 'Make America Great Again' slogan. Expert at creating viral moments and maintaining a passionate base. Claims to have invented the term 'fake news.'

Elon Musk

Elon Musk

Tech Entrepreneur

CEO of multiple companies including Tesla and SpaceX. Known for his ambitious goals like colonizing Mars and neural implants. Frequent tweeter who can move markets with a single post. Has a complex relationship with AI development.

Joe Biden

Joe Biden

46th President of the United States

The 46th President of the United States, known for his long political career and signature aviator sunglasses. Has a deep love for ice cream and trains. Often shares stories about his hometown of Scranton, PA.

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